Common coaching mistakes

While topic 2 provided an overview of what to do during coaching conversations, it’s also important to understand what not to do. The behaviours below can easily drain the energy out of a coaching moment, so be sure to think carefully about them before, during and after a coaching conversation.

Rushing to find a solution

This often happens when energy is high during the conversation as it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement. Keep the eFIRE model in mind as you work through the conversation to ensure you’ve explored the discussion in enough detail before progressing the conversation to another focus area.

Failing to notice the learning moment

It’s the small things in conversations that often speak the loudest with respect to opportunities for learning. For example, a pause in conversation could be from feeling unsure or not having a clear answer to a question. It’s important not to fill the void, and instead, let the silence allow for deeper thinking to occur.

Navigating conversations away from ambiguity

One of the key benefits of coaching is as a framework for navigating through ambiguity and uncertainty.  Try not to steer topics or provide hints towards more familiar territory, and instead allow the ambiguity to become a shared experience so that you can both learn together with a fresh perspective.

Requiring certainty in responses or understanding

It’s okay to say 'I don’t know' during a coaching conversation. When this happens it’s useful to discuss why you don’t know, how you feel, what you are trying to say, etc. to allow you to continue the conversation without getting lost in not knowing a concrete answer.

Not noticing the pace of the student progressing through the modes of conversation

A well rounded coaching conversation will spend roughly equal amounts of time in each phase of the eFIRE model. It can be a little difficult to keep track of as navigating the model can be quite iterative, but think critically about whether you might be better backtracking to explore more options, or if it’s time to move the conversation forward if you’ve been stuck in one mode of conversation for an extended period.

Telling (or leading) rather than asking

When the conversation seems to be going too slow, it’s easy to get a little impatient and begin providing tips or sharing from your own experiences to help bootstrap or accelerate the conversation. Ensure that you leave questions open ended and without intentional or desired outcomes – to do so would shift the conversation into a mentoring or supervisory discussion which may unintentionally bring the conversation to a premature close.

Thinking the purpose of the conversation is about you (as coach)

It can be difficult to avoid showing off your own knowledge as a coach when you can see an answer that the other party is struggling to grasp, but remember that the conversation is to help the coachee problem solve and work through the issue. The value in the conversation is in the learning, and not in teaching.

Adapted from Starr (2003).